Dear Diary: 16 days aren’t enough

Day 1: Innocence … gone
I’m in my early teens. I’m spending Christmas with my boyfriend. His mother is boozy. She tells me I’m beautiful. She gives me a sheer pink negligée with cut-outs of black hands over the chest. That’s so strange. The house is full.

Late at night my boyfriend and I fondle on the couch. Everyone’s sleeping. My clothes are on. Something happens. I don’t know what it is. It reminds me of sneezing. But different. It is my first orgasm.

The next day. The house gets fuller. Too full. The mother suggests I sleep with her. She is divorced. The adults spend the day drinking.

The teens mooch around. It’s late when I slide into the mother’s bed. She starts crying. I’m uncomfortable but turn and quickly pat her shoulder. I keep my distance. She sidles up to me. Her hands reach for me. She invades me. My consciousness pops out of my body. “Are you enjoying this?” I hear a drunken voice say from afar. “Please … please leave me,” I hear myself say after what seems like forever. I spend the rest of the night in fright.

Read it at the M&G.

Image – M&G