You know you’re a full-time working mom when…

1. Your daily mood and productivity are directly proportional to the strength and reliability of your Wi-Fi.

2. You harbour an unreasonable level of hatred for parents who schedule their kids’ birthday parties for 2pm on weekday afternoons.

3. You have fantasised once or twice about a painless and temporary but serious ailment that would confine you to a hospital bed (private suite, obvs) for a week.

4. You speak about your dining room table, garage and/or study as “the office”, even if you’re wearing pink bunny slippers at the time.

5. You’ve seriously considered a) branding your car or b) erecting a massive billboard along the perimeter wall of your house.

6. You’ve written emails cross-legged on the wet grass outside your kid’s ballet class. For an hour.

7. You’re paranoid about being breathed on by people with a cold, a cough, gastro, pink eye or (insert highly contagious lergy here).

8. You live in perpetual fear of school being cancelled, closed, or called off.

9. A hard drive crash (or the spinning rainbow ball of iOS doom) can ready you for a padded cell in a home for the criminally insane.

10. You use iCal to schedule date nights, get buy-in for dinners with friends and even make time for important discussions with your spouse. (And so does he … )

11. You are the only person in your social circle who despises public holidays. Same workload; fewer days to do it in.

12. Your child plays “Mommy, mommy” by sitting in front of a computer and frowning.

13. December is both wonderful and terrible. Yes, it’s holiday time, but you (usually) don’t get a 13th cheque. And everyone else in your life does, including your staff.

14. You’ve never watched the cute panda sneezing video on YouTube. And never will.

15. You’ll leave your pants at home before going to a meeting without business cards.

16. You’re on first-name terms with the barista at your local coffee office, where your Wi-Fi connects automatically and you keep a spare power cord behind the bar. (You get peeved when other people sit at “your” table. Or drink wine at 1pm.)

I’ve scored 13 out of a possible 16. Yikes. Now you try. And, are there any I’ve left out?

Image – Getty